Hey guys! If you’re reading this, you probably noticed my new blog design this week! It isn’t perfect (yet), but I’m super excited about the new look and layout. *Big thanks to Erika for her great style and tireless work making all my ideas actually functional.* Getting a blog makeover is basically like Christmas to me. I LOVE it. But, it also brings out my perfectionist side, and I suddenly notice every little thing that needs “fixing.” I want to update every old post, photo, tag, etc. so don’t be surprised if you continue to see some changes around here. In the meantime, check out my updated About page and the pull down menus under each of the main categories – Motherhood, Teaching, and Life In-Between – and let me know what you think!! I’ve tried really hard to make this blog a reflection of me, and the design a reflection of what this space is all about. I hope it will be even easier to navigate and find exactly what strikes your fancy now.

While we’re on the topic of blogging, I thought I’d respond to some of the questions I occasionally get about starting a blog… I’m obviously NOT an expert (not even close), but I have been doing this for a long time (seven years this summer which will officially beat out gymnastics as my longest-standing hobby) and have learned a lot along the way.  I hope this will be helpful to someone out there!

Five Tips for Starting a Blog:

Think about your blog’s purpose and choose a name that matches it.

This is something I wish someone had told me before I got started. I spent all of ten minutes thinking about what to name my first blog, and then didn’t really love the name the entire time I was writing there. (As if blogging isn’t already narcissistic enough without a name like “E, Myself, and I”.) When I lost my domain and re-branded / started this blog in 2014 (read about that here), I was MUCH more intentional about what I wanted the blog to be about, and I chose a name that fit that. I’ve been so much happier with my new name and a more defined purpose/niche for the blog.

I would encourage anyone wanting to start a blog to spend a few days or weeks at least asking themselves (and the people closest to them) some questions like “What topics do I really care about?” “What topics do I really KNOW?” “What topics often come up in my conversations with friends?” “What topics would I feel comfortable and qualified to write about?” “What can I add to the conversations already taking place on the internet?”

Once you’ve answered those questions, you might even go so far as to think about how you’d describe yourself and your blog on an About page, what your “tag line” will be, and what categories you will organize your posts into. It’s probably even a good idea to go ahead and write your first few posts to get a feel for your voice and the style of your blog. These thing will naturally point you towards a blog name that fits!

You want your title to grab someone’s attention, but also – probably more importantly – tell potential readers what your blog is all about. Try not to make it too confusing, hard to pronounce, or long. You will likely be identified by your blog name in the online world for a long time (I can’t even tell you how many people I’ve met in real life that have called me “Emyselfandi” and have no idea what the “E” stands for), so make sure you like it! Once you’ve started and established your blog, changing the name isn’t easy (remember, I did it), so pick something that will be timeless and work regardless of how your life might change. A lot of bloggers today are simply using their names a blog name and domain, but that can be tricky when it comes to privacy, etc. which leads me to my next point…

Figure out what your boundaries are going to be and set them from the beginning.

When I first started blogging, I just assumed that no one would ever really read what I was writing besides my mom and a handful of friends that clicked over from my Facebook page. As a result, I was sharing things on my blog that I would share with my mom and a handful of close friends. In theory, there is nothing wrong with that, but it’s really important to remember that once something is published on the internet, no matter how hard you might try, it’s really hard (impossible maybe) to get it off the internet. Thankfully, I never wrote anything I’m particularly embarrassed or ashamed of, but I have wised up in my old age and started thinking about what kind of information (about myself, my family, my job, etc.) I’m comfortable having on the internet for the rest of the time.

In general, if you are writing a public blog, you should probably just keep that “imaginary” audience of who COULD read in the back of your mind all the time. Ask yourself: “Am I OK with my boss reading this?” “My mother-in-law?” “My next door neighbor?” “My pastor?” If the answer is no, you might want to reconsider publishing it… (For the record, I’ve had most of those people read my blog at some point in my real life.)

In addition, it’s important to set some privacy/safety boundaries for your content from the very beginning – like deciding whether or not you will share your real name, your full name, your employer, your location, photos of your kids, etc. It’s sad, but you really have to be careful even when deciding whether or not to mention when you are going out of town for the weekend or your husband is traveling overnight. This could be a whole post on it’s own, but we do live in a dark world during a changing time. There is a fine line between accepting how common internet presence is today, and recognizing the dangers of putting everything out there for all to know.

It’s a good idea to enlist the help of your spouse (or someone else close to you) and talk through these topics, imagine potential scenarios, and even write down some specific boundaries if you want to go that far before you ever even start publishing on your blog. I’ve learned (here, for example) that it is a lot easier to set a precedence from the very beginning than to try to go back and “censor” later on, and you just never really know WHO or HOW MANY people might be reading your blog one day.

Get involved in the blog world.

It’s true that in order to BE a blogger, you need to READ BLOGS. The blog world is BIG but also very small really. One of the best ways to get started blogging and to get your blog noticed is to get involved!  Find some blogs that you really love, and leave thoughtful comments on their posts. Share other people’s writing on your Facebook page (or on your new blog). Email a blogger that you respect and introduce yourself or ask for her advice on a particular subject. It’s called “social” media for a reason – don’t be shy!!

One word of warning about this though… Make sure your connections are authentic. It’s generally considered “tacky” to link to your own blog in someone else’s comments (unless you’ve written a post that is particularly relevant, etc.) or send an email that just says: “Check out my blog.” I have found the blog community to be one that really stands by each other and WANTS to see each other succeed, so building others up often naturally builds your own brand. HOWEVER, it can’t be contrived or “fake.”  Remember, even when blogging becomes “business,” we are still humans, and the human side of blogging really thrives on relationships!

I can genuinely say that in my seven years of blogging, I’ve made some true FRIENDS that I’ve never actually met in person – and a few that I have met but never would have if it wasn’t for blogging. This is – BY FAR – the biggest blessing of blogging, and it far outweighs any of the other “perks.” Don’t miss out on that by trying to comment everywhere and be involved on EVERY blog. Pick a few blogs that resonate with you and get to KNOW them and the bloggers behind them. It will pay off in more ways than you’d imagine!

Make your blog space beautiful. (Pay a designer if you have to.)

This may seem silly or trivial to some, but it makes a big difference to me… Don’t you want to be home more when your house is clean and decorated nicely? Aren’t you more productive when your desk is neat and has a beautiful vase of flowers or a cute coffee mug on it? Your blog is no different.

I’ve been paying for blog design for almost six years now, and it has made SUCH a difference. There is just no comparing a professional blog design to something free and/or sloppily hand-done. Yes, this requires a bit of an “investment” up front (full blog design can cost anywhere from a few hundred dollars to a few thousand depending on what you want), but if you are a serious about blogging, I think it’s well worth it. (Email me if you want some recommendations for designers.) If that absolutely isn’t possible right now, however, don’t let it stop you from starting a blog all together. There are great tutorials on You Tube, and I highly recommend PicMonkey* for designing your own graphics etc. I’ve never tried them, but you can also purchase pre-made templates on Etsy (usually at a much lower rate) and many of them look great.

The bottom line is that, like it or not, I think we ARE judged by appearance in the blogosphere. If you want people to read your blog, it needs to look good. (There are, certainly, some exceptions to this, but it’s definitely not the rule.) BUT, even beyond that, I really do think that having a “pretty” place to write will make you more likely to invest time and energy into your blog. 🙂

Be yourself.

The wonderful thing about blogging is that there really is room for everyone. Don’t try to be anyone else on your blog. Tell your own story. Write in your own voice. My goal is to be the same person on my blog as I am in real life. If we met for coffee next week, I don’t think I would surprise you. (Or, as one blog-turned-real-life friend once told me, “You really are as big a mess in real life as you claim to be on your blog!” Ha!). If you are funny, be funny. If you are more serious and deep, be serious and deep. Be vulnerable with your mistakes, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.  You really do have something that NO ONE else can contribute to this space.

Bonus: JUST START ALREADY!

Yes, I gave you a million and one things to think about before you start a blog, but the hardest part really is just hitting publish! You don’t have to (and you won’t) have everything perfect from the very beginning, but you have to start somewhere! Set up a free site in Blogger (I recommend that you start there though there are equally strong arguments in favor of Word Press from the beginning) and start typing. If you are still working through some of the above questions, you can always start as a private blog and not make it public until you have everything else the way you want it. It will never hurt you to have more content.

Honestly, I’ve said this plenty of times before, but blogging has been SUCH a blessing in my life. In addition to relationships and a little bit of extra spending money, it has given me a voice, a story, and a passion for writing that I lost somewhere between middle school and a master’s degree. I would encourage anyone with even with the slightest bit of interest to jump in and start a blog. The more the merrier!

Well, there’s my long-winded advice for someone considering starting a blog… What other questions do you have? Should I do more of these types of posts about blogging itself? Are there specific areas you’d like to hear more about? 

Those of you that have been blogging for a while yourself… What did I miss? What would you add to my list of advice for someone wanting to start a blog?

Have a good day!

E

*FYI, this post contains an affiliate link. See my full disclosure in the sidebar.

(I would apologize for being a full 3 days late posting this, but one of you actually said I should stop apologizing and just “jump right in” in the comments section of the survey so… I’m kind-of doing that. Also, if you missed the announcement yesterday, check here to see if you won my giveaway.)

As of 3:30PM Friday, 201 of you had filled out my Fall 2015 Reader Survey. Most days, Sam & Scout sees 1,000+ readers; but, I warmly consider the 200(+) of you that took the time to give me some honest feedback “my blog people.” Many of you (66%) have been reading since I moved here from E, Myself, and I in March of 2014. Like old friends, you’ve seen me through lots of different life stages and continued to read, comment, send emails. Your surveys were anonymous, but I know who you are (figuratively, of course, not in a creepy way). I read your blogs and follow you on Instagram. I know we have babies close to the same age. That your littlest had colic too. That you are pumping from a storage closet at work like me. That you are up late grading papers and haven’t done laundry in a week either. Truly, you are my friends.

I’ve said it already, but one more time won’t hurt anyone: THANK YOU for taking my survey / entering my giveaway / reading my blog / caring about my life / etc. etc. etc. This space is so special to me. I’m glad we’re juggling (and dropping) allthethings together. 😉

SO… Here’s what the survey revealed:

• 80% of you are between 25 and 35 years old (80%)
• 84% of you are married
• 63% of you have at least one child at home, and 10 of you are actually expecting your first baby (CONGRATS!)
• That means 30% of you don’t have kids but still put up with all my “mom-talk”
• Of those with kids, the most popular number was 2 and the vast majority are between the ages of 0-2 and 3-5
• 45% of you work full time out of the home, and – of that number – 37% are teachers (not surprising, but pretty cool)

Basically, we have TONS in common, and we could have one heck of a play-date/ lesson-planning party if we ever were in the same place at the same time!

• 30% of you said your favorite thing to read about here is Teaching, Motherhood and Working Motherhood made up a close-second with a combined 28%, and Confessions/Real Life came in right behind that with 25% of the votes
• The topics you’d like to see more of were pretty well spread out across the board, but the topic with the most checks (49%) was Confessions/Real Life. (Your in luck: Mid-Month Confessions is TOMORROW!) Behind that was Teaching and then Favorite Finds.
• Your least favorite topic/ what you’d like to see less of was Giveaways and Reviews (22%) and then Teaching.
• 55% of you said you pretty much never comment, which I hate, but I totally get it – I honestly rarely comment on other blogs myself.
• And the most popular blogs listed under “What other blogs do you read regularly?” were The Small Things Blog, Mix & Match Mama, Notes from the Nelsens, Modern Mrs. Darcy, Catholic All Year, A Cup of Jo, Momastery, Love,Teach, Eat Write Teach, Kelly’s Korner, and Something Beautiful (I read ALL of those and love them too! Plus, I added a bunch of new ones to my Bloglovin’ feed thanks to your recommendations!)

According to your comments, the best things about this blog are the honesty/realness (definitely the most common theme in your responses here), the humor, writing style, teaching/classroom tips, and the fact that we have so much in common. You guys really  made me feel good here. THANKS. <<blushing>>

I asked for it, but there were plenty of “worst” things listed too. By far the most frequent response was the lack of posting/ inconsistency/ dry spells/ etc. (I’d say I’m working on that, but clearly I haven’t done that great this week either… I will continue try, but I appreciate all of you that gave the disclaimers about understanding this season of life, etc. #maybeoneday.) I also heard that the layout can be confusing in mobile format (hoping to get that fixed soon), that there aren’t enough photos (totally fair), that I don’t respond to comments (I’ll own this one too. I really try, but I admit I’m always about ten posts behind), that I take things too seriously, and that there’s too much or too little fashion/teaching/motherhood/etc. (A couple of people also said that I made them “miss teaching” which made me smile.)

Here are some other constructive criticisms* I received and wanted to respond to specifically:

• “Sometimes your honesty is a little too self-deprecating, like trying too hard to rag on yourself.”
  • This has been something I’ve struggled with in the past – my confessions becoming a kind of self-fulfilling prophesy – but I really made an effort to be better about it when I left E, Myself, and I and started this blog over a year ago. (That’s a big reason why I only do confession posts once a month instead of once a week now.) That said, most of my self-deprecation is all in good humor. I think it’s important to laugh at yourself, and it’s one of my “strengths” if you will. 🙂
• “Declining posts, which coincided with you making your Instagram private, so I feel like I don’t know anything about your life anymore… Half of your blog is supposed to be about your role as a mother, but you rarely post anything about that. If it’s a privacy choice like Instagram, that’s fine, but then redefine the mission of the blog.”
  • I think that this comment was referring to the fact that I’ve missed a couple of months of Mid-Month Confessions since Nora was born in addition to making my Instagram account private back in April. You can read about my reasons for that decision here; but, ultimately, I really do try to share about my experience as a mom without necessarily sharing about my kids. Does that make any sense? I’m sure some times I accomplish that better than others, and I make no claim of being “good” at striking that balance, but it’s where I feel like I need to be with my blog and personal life right now. I LOVE the idea of being a completely “open book,” but I also want to guard some things as sacred and protect the privacy of my family members that may not have the same feelings about it as me. I know I might sacrifice some readers who want more details about the personal lives of the bloggers they follow, but I don’t think it means I have to redefine the mission of my blog. The vein of motherhood runs through everything in my life and, thus, everything I write here.
  • BTW, I heard from a few of you that you wished I would set up an Instagram account specifically for the blog, and I am working on that – so stay tuned! 🙂
• “I generally like your approach to most subjects; however, the we-are-all-good-mommas posts always START like they’re going to be encouraging to all moms who choose whatever is best for their families while including an air of superiority about knowing what is actually best for children in general… Since Nora has been born, a few of your mom posts have really put me (and a few others I know who read) on the defensive as though our choices might have been due to a lack of effort or education regarding XYZ.”
  • This was one of the first comments that came in on the survey and, I’ll be honest, it stung. I have SUCH a heart for moms and really feel like one of the “mottos” of this blog is that we are all doing the best we can and are all in this together. It makes me genuinely sad that even one person (or more as this comment implied) would hear otherwise from me. It is NEVER my intention to make anyone feel like I think less of them for their parenting decisions, and it truly isn’t the way I feel about any of the decisions I’ve made as a mom. That said, I went back and read every single motherhood post since Nora was born and really had a hard time finding where these feelings could have come from. (That’s not to say they don’t exist, I just really couldn’t recognize what might have spurred them.) I do think I’ve had more confidence in myself as a mom the second time around, but my goal is to champion that – because I was so insecure when Sam was a baby – not to make anyone else feel less. I’m always careful about the way that I present controversial topics – with the focus almost always on my own weaknesses instead of someone else’s choice or judgement – but I will, certainly, continue to guard the way I talk about these things and how my words might be interpreted. (If you left this comment, I would really love to talk more with you about specifics etc. If you’re willing, please email me!)
• Claiming that “working mothers are the best thing for their kids.”
  • Another stinger. Most of my thoughts on this are stated in the response above, but I will add this: I DO think that having a working mother is what is best for MY kids. If I felt differently, I would’t be a working mother. Period. I won’t make any apologies for that. BUT, beyond my own experience, I really don’t have a strong opinion about this and would never try to make a blanket statement that any one choice is “best.” It is different for every family, every season, every situation. I’m SO sorry that something I have written/said ever came across as otherwise.
  • On that note, in my life, I often feel like the minority as a working mom, and I think of this blog as a platform for speaking encouragement to other moms who might find themselves in a similar situation as me. I can see how some of my “cheerleading” for working moms could be perceived as thinking that’s the only way to go. But, please know, I have many close friends/moms that I respect SO much that stay at home full time with their kids – and several of them actually struggle with feeling like the only SAHM out of their circle of working mom friends. I know my experience is only ONE, but it’s the only one I know, so it is what I write about.
• Sponsored posts / “I totally get why bloggers do product reviews & sponsored posts, but I DO NOT LIKE them.”
  • Fair enough. This comment actually went on to say that I did a pretty good job of keeping this fairly infrequent, mixing them with actual content, and only representing brands/products I truly believe in. I know people don’t love sponsored content (I don’t either), but I really do make every effort to make them sparse, relevant, and real when I do include them. Those things are REALLY important to me, and I run everything I post/write/etc. through that filter when it comes to sponsorship and monetizing. I don’t make a lot of money off of this blog, but I am very thankful for the little bit it does generate. Two sponsored posts this summer paid for Sam’s birthday party, his new bike, and a family trip to Kings Dominion. If you are someone that gags a little every time you see a post with a *sponsored* disclaimer, rest assured that – at least here – that money is going to a real person with a real family, and I am incredibly grateful for the little “bonuses” it provides. I will write more about making money from blogging etc. later, but – in the meantime – check out my FAQ page for a little more of my reasoning behind including ads and sponsored content on Sam & Scout.

And, in an effort to not make this the longest post in the history of man (ok, it already is, I know), I will stop with a  list of some of the (great) post suggestions/questions you all left for me. Expect to see content on these topics in the near future:

• Tips for friendships after motherhood. How do you find time to tend to friendships given the busyness of being a wife/mom/teacher? (Here’s a preview: My best friend left a question on my survey asking “When do we get to hang out?” Haha! So… Clearly, not great.)
• Maternity leave
• How on earth do you manage your time? (Spoiler Alert: Not very well.)
• When you were a first year teacher, how did you balance the line between school and your personal life? What was life as a teacher like when you were married but before you had kids?
• Tips for starting a blog. How did you establish a blog following / land sponsored stuff?
• Have you ever thought about blogging full time?
• Are you going to YA’ll Fest this year? (Sadly, no.)
• How do you budget/ handle finances in your family?
• What job (other than motherhood) could woo you away from teaching?
• How do you feel about homeschooling?
• What’s on your fall trend radar (mom style)?
• Tips for hosting a shower.
• What are some ways you try to keep your teaching “fresh” when you’ve taught the same content for a while?
• How did you and your husband meet? (In high school. Ninth grade. I’ll share more near our 14th “anniversary” in October.)
• Who’s your favorite bachelor/bachelorette? (Sean Lowe. No question.)
• Did your friend on the Match Maker link-up find his one true love? (I did several of those posts on my old blog and I *think* all but two are married now. My friend Seth is still single but now living in Africa and being called “dad” by eight teenage boys. True story. And my friend Lee is a professor in Ohio. *Email me if you want contact info for either of them – they are total catches!*)
• Would love to know more about how you practice your faith — mostly, how you do quiet time? how you connect with friends in prayer and bible studies, etc.?
• Tell us more about your nanny and how you found her. (See this post)

As you can see, I think I have plenty of content to keep me blogging for a while… Now, if I could just find an extra couple of hours every day. 😉

Did I forget anything?!? Please leave additional questions for me (or thoughts on any of this) in the comments. ALSO, tell me: What kind of content would you like to see in my blog newsletter?

Have a great week!

E

*EVERYONE was genuinely kind and respectful in offering their feedback. I sincerely appreciated the honest commentary even when it was a little hard to read. No need to get upset about anything anyone said or defend me at all. I’m only sharing because I wanted to respond and thought maybe others could relate to some of the same sentiments.

Well, hello again! As promised, today I’m handing the mic over to YOU and asking some questions about who you are, how you use this blog, and what I can do to make it better. (What kind of person gives a reader survey in the middle of a terrible blog dry-spell? Not a very smart one, that’s for sure.) I’m also giving away a REALLY FUN package at the bottom of this post, so don’t skip it. Seriously.

If you’re willing to help me out with a bit of feedback, the following survey has 15 questions and should take you five minutes tops! (If the form below doesn’t work for you, you can also access it by clicking here.) I’ve modeled it after Modern Mrs. Darcy’s reader surveys and, as she does, I’ll share some of the “findings” in a couple of weeks.

Ok, now for the fun part… Back to school season is one of my VERY favorite times of the year, and I’m super excited to be giving away some of my favorite “supplies.” Here’s what one lucky reader will get:

• Emily Ley Mint Dot Weekly Planner

… to keep you organized and stylish with space for your schedule, To Do, notes, and dinner every day through December 2016. ($58.00 value / currently SOLD OUT)

• Archer’s Adventure Journal

… to help you start the habit of spending time with your kids in God’s word all school year long with daily scripture memory, journaling, and coloring pages for you and your little one to do together. ($32 value / on sale now for $22 — special thanks to Karen for contributing this journal! I wrote more about it here.)

• $20.00 Stitch Fix Gift Certificate

… to make your Back to School shopping more fun and easier than every before – five items especially chosen for you by a personal stylist and delivered right to your door; pay for what you want and send the rest back. (Gift card covers the $20 “Styling Fee” which can be applied towards any purchases you make.)

• Two-pack of my FAVORITE PENS EVER

… To change your life! (Seriously though, no Back to School list would be complete without these! $11 value)

You get THREE entries for filling out the reader survey (above), two for subscribing to my mailing list (form on the sidebar), and one more for liking my page on Facebook (here) – Simply fill in the Rafflecopter below to tell me what you did. 🙂

a Rafflecopter giveaway

The giveaway will be open for one week, and I will announce the winner on Friday, September 11th. (I’m sponsoring this give away myself, and I’m not a big fancy blogger with millions of followers, so your odds are pretty darn good. Please enter!)

As always, THANK YOU for being the best readers ever!! I love you all!

E