Remember my big summer reading list?

Well, like most lists in my life these days, not much got crossed off. (Insert embarrassed monkey emoji.)

Including the two books that I was reading when I made that list back in May (and not including the books I read for school), I ended up starting seven books, but I only actually finished four of them.

In line with Modern Mrs. Darcy’s philosophy (a’la John Irving), I’ve stopped reading books that I don’t like. I used to never do this, but it really held me back as a reader. I’d have tons of books I was “in the middle of” because I wouldn’t just admit that I didn’t like it and move on. Now, it’s easy. I just put it down, and mark it off my list. (Well, because I’m OCD, I actually “cross it off” the list to indicate that I didn’t actually read it but made the conscious choice to stop, as opposed to “checking off” a book I finish.) Anyway, three books fell into that category for me this summer — maybe I was particularly selfish with my reading time?

Also, for what it’s worth, three of the four books I finished were audiobooks. That wasn’t on purpose necessarily, but it’s indicative of the stage of life I’m in. I don’t have lazy afternoons at the pool for reading right now, but I DO have late nights folding laundry or earbuds on an early morning walk. I’ve come to really appreciate audiobooks as a form of reading and find that some books are even better in that form. I’ve even started allowing them for my students in class. More on that some other time maybe, but check out this article if you’re interested.

SO… Which four did I enjoy?

1. Me Before You by Jojo Moyes – I actually wanted to dislike this book because it was so popular and “everywhere,” but it absolutely lived up to its reputation. It drew me in immediately and left me thinking about the plot line and characters for weeks after I finished. (I just watched the movie last weekend and LOVED it too. I cried like a baby.)
2. The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney  – This was another one that seemed to keep coming up in book talk everywhere, so I chose it as my summer book club read. I didn’t find the plot of this one particularly riveting or developed, but I did really like the characters, and I thought the family dynamics of adult sibling relationships – especially when it comes to money and inheritance – were (sadly) pretty accurate. This wasn’t a favorite, but I’m glad i read it.
3. When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi – This is a nonfiction memoir written by the chief resident of neurosurgery at Standford in the year following his own lung cancer diagnosis and leading up to his death at the age of 36. I can’t really explain how much I LOVED this book. His story was powerful and captivating, and his writing was profound and beautiful. I’m trying to get copies of this to teach in my eleventh grade English class, and I won’t be surprised at all if it becomes “required reading” for all students (especially med students) one day. If you ignore all my other recommendations – READ THIS BOOK.
4. Truly, Madly, Guilty by Liane Moriarty – I’d mentioned before here that I had not read many positive reviews of this book, but I decided to read it anyway because I’m a big fan of Liana Moriarty and I wanted something “light” to end the summer. This was not really the light-hearted book I was hoping for – it actually deals with some pretty serious marriage and parenting issues – but I DID end up liking it a lot. Maybe it was because my expectations were low, but I also think the fact that I listened to it (as opposed to reading it) was actually an advantage for this book because of the different voices and characters the narrator used (although I think she messed up a few times). True to Moriarty’s form, it was entertaining but also made me think; in fact, it led to some really good conversations with Jeff! I don’t think it is her best book (What Alice Forgot and The Husband’s Secret are my favorites), and the “formula” is very similar to Big Little Lies, but I still really enjoyed it. 

(I also read Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, which wasn’t technically on my list, and loved it. Very thought provoking – especially when it comes to raising and teaching children.)

And which three did I abandon?

To be clear, none of these were bad books. I respect anyone who writes a book – especially a memoir – and all three of these came highly recommended from reliable sources; but, in the end, they just didn’t do it for me right now.

1. Coming Clean: A Story of Faith by Seth Haines – I wanted to like this book so much, and I honestly tried… for months. I think Haines is a good writer and his book is important, but it did not keep my attention and just wasn’t super relevant (although I do think his experience with sobriety can be applied to LOTS of different addictions in our lives) for me at this point.
2. The Year We Turned 40 by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke – This was one of Modern Mrs. Darcy’s summer reading picks, but it just felt a little cheesy to me. It was a little like What Alice Forgot with a little magical/fantasy twist, and I just couldn’t get into the fantastical side.
3. The Girls by Emma Cline – I have to admit that I really didn’t give this one a lot of time/attention to win me over. I’m sure it is good (and it’s certainly received a lot of positive attention), but the writing style was a little too “wordy” and “artsy” for me right now. Even in the audio version, this just felt kind-of slow, and I could never really get into it.

Of course, as you might have expected, I’ve continued to add books to my list at a much faster rate than I’ve been checking them off, but I still have grand plans of getting to them all… One day. For now, I’ve just started Glennon Melton’s new book Love Warrior on audio – it’s read by her which makes it that much better. I’m only a few chapters in, but I really like it so far. I was hesitant to read it – for many reasons, the least of which being the fact that it is about her marriage and she and her husband announced their separation just weeks before it’s launch – but I ultimately gave in to the hype (even Oprah loves it!!) and am glad I did. I also just got Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld from the library (for, like, the third time), and I have You Will Know Me on my Kindle (I swiped it for a steal a few weeks ago) ready to go when I’m ready for it.

What did you read this summer? Have you read any of the above? Are you a fan of the audiobook like me? Do you ditch books you don’t like?

Lots to talk about today friends! Humor me?

E

Please tell me I’m not the only one that has been giddily planning my summer reading list for weeks now. During the school year, I tend to lean more towards a good audiobook and usually only get through a few books total, but I LOVE to read in the summer. I still have about ten days of school left, but you better believe I’m daydreaming of lazy afternoons on the beach (with lots of grandparents to help with kids) and by the pool with a good book in my hands and staying up late to finish one knowing I don’t have to set an alarm for the morning. I.Can’t.Wait.

I’ve been reading lists and polling my friends, but the final capstone to my list-making came yesterday when Modern Mrs. Darcy finally released her Summer Reading Guide. If you haven’t already gone and signed up to receive it, GO now. (Then come back here, but – seriously – GO.) It is carefully curated and includes five books in each of six categories with little descriptions/reviews and ideas of who each one would be good for, plus, it’s completely free! *This isn’t sponsored by MMD in any way, I just really love her blog/recommendations and think you’ll like the guide.

Anyway, I’ve been so overwhelmed with good suggestions, that I wanted to pause and actually put together a master list of priorities for summer. 😉 I keep a running list on my phone that’s up to more than 50 titles, so I tried to be choosy here. Many of these are brand new – some not even released yet. I chose titles that I’ve heard a lot about – most from multiple (trusted) sources – and ones I think will be buzzing this summer (because I like to be in on the action). Most of my picks fall in the “chick lit” or “thriller” category and none are particularly literary; I just know myself well enough to stick with what I like. I’m fine with not being a fancy or scholarly reader in the summer – I wear that hat (albeit a little lopsidedly) all year long.

So, here it is:

FICTION:

• The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Jenkins (MMD pick)
• The Knock-Off: A Novel by Jo Piazza (MMD pick)
• Eligible: A Modern Retelling of Pride & Prejudice by Curtis Sittenfeld (MMD pick)
• The Year We Turned Forty by Liz Fenton and Lisa Steinke (MMD pick)
• No One Knows by J.T. Ellison (MMD pick)
• One True Loves by Taylor Jenkins Reid (MMD pick – due out 6/7/16)
• The Girls: A Novel by Emma Cline (due out 6/14/16)
• All the Missing Girls: A Novel by Megan Miranda (MMD pick – due out 6/28/16)
• You Will Know Me by Megan Abbott (due out 7/26/16)
• Truly, Madly, Guilty by Liane Moriarty (due out 7/26/16)

NONFICTION:

• I Know How She Does It by Laura Vandercam
• When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
• When We Were on Fire by Addie Zierman
• The Year of Yes by Shonda Rimes (MMD pick)
• Magic and Loss by Virginia Heffernan (MMD pick – due out 6/7/16)

FOR SCHOOL:

*These are mostly re-reads of books I’ve assigned for summer reading or plan to teach for the first time next year. I may or may not actually read them again. I’ve included them just in case anyone is interested. Email me if you want to see the full assignments, but read this post first about how I do summer reading with my classes and why.

• October Sky by Homer Hickam (9th grade summer reading)
• Life of Pi by Yann Martel (10th grade summer reading)
• In Cold Blood by Truman Capote (11th grade summer reading)
• Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs (11th grade summer reading)
• The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (new for 9th grade next year)

Think I’ll get through all these? Ha!  Twenty books in three months id admittedly ambitious, but at least I have a list to choose from. I’m reading Me Before You and Coming Clean: A Story of Faith right now, and then I’ll dig into this. Where should I even start?!? 

I’d love to hear your thoughts if you’ve read any of these titles and hear what’s on your summer reading list. Also, I need to choose one of these books to do for a late-summer book club with girlfriends – any ideas there?

Have a good Thursday!

E

P.S. See other reading lists and my reviews of several recent ones here.

I was intrigued by Sue Klebold’s book from the very second I learned about it… Ever since I read Columbine for the first time in 2012, I have wondered about the families of the two boys responsible for one of our nation’s biggest events of school violence. I knew from Dave Cullen that Dylan Klebold’s parents had stayed in Littleton after Dylan and his friend Eric took the lives of twelve of their classmates and one teacher before – ultimately – killing themselves. I always found that incredibly bold and brave but confusing and sad too. From time to time (usually when I taught Columbine), I wondered about the families of all the victims from that April day, but especially the Klebolds. Most wouldn’t call them “victims,” but they lost a son that day too. In fact, a case could be made that they lost even more than a son: They lost their reputations, their safety, many of their friends, and – worst of all – the image of the boy they had raised. How does a family go on after something like that?!?

When Sue Klebold first started making the media rounds for A Mother’s Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath this winter – nearly 17 years after the tragedy at Columbine – I made sure to tune in. I was skeptical – I admit. Would she try to defend her son? Was she attempting to make money off of this tragedy? Was she totally crazy? BUT, first in her interview with Diane Sawyer and then on the NPR podcast “Fresh Air”, Sue Klebold surprised me… She was well-spoken. She was gentle, but also strong. She was loving towards Dylan, but not at all dismissive of his actions. She was an advocate, a survivor, a teacher, but, mostly, she was a MOTHER.

That’s what struck me the most about Sue Klebold and her story… Every other time I’ve read or thought about Columbine, I’ve seen it through the eyes of one of the students. I was a freshman in high school in 1999, so I always related as a teenager. I could have been Rachel Scott or Cassie Bernall or – for that matter – Robyn Anderson, Dylan’s prom date the weekend before. I knew all about bullies and cliques. I could, at least on some level, grasp that side of the story, but A Mother’s Reckoning made me see what happened as a mom. And, I’m not going to lie, it almost wrecked me.

Sue Klebold was a mom and – despite the image that the media has portrayed of her son over the last two decades – Dylan was her little boy. In the book, she told stories of Dylan as a child, recounted family vacations, and described how Dylan had just chosen what dorm he would live in in college the next fall, and how he smiled when he described his senior prom. She also – beautifully – asked the questions that will haunt her for the rest of her life: What could she have done better? How did she miss the signs that things had gotten so horribly out of control? WHY did this happen?

I, literally, tore through the book in a few days. At times I didn’t WANT to read it because it was so painful, and intense, and – frankly – frightening. But, I also couldn’t stop.

It’s hard to explain how exactly, but Klebold managed to strike a perfect balance of taking responsibility for Dylan’s actions and offering her sincerest apologies while never wavering in her love and devotion to him. Even she admitted that there were things she wished she’d done differently in raising both of her boys, but what mother – looking back – wouldn’t say that? While what Dylan did was absolutely inexcusable, I found myself – strangely almost – inspired by the unconditional love she had for her son.

Beyond that, I found Klebold’s account of the legal side of things – what they were advised to say and do, etc. – and her perspective on the media’s portrayal of Dylan and her family fascinating. More so, the human aspect of her grief and healing was breathtaking… Parts of the book were taken from her journals in the days and months after the shooting, and the writing was gripping and raw… In one scene, she talked about standing outside of her house on the driveway for hours BEGGING someone to tell her what had happened to her son and a police officer finally telling her – coldly – that he had killed himself. I cried. At other places, I imagined Dylan as a preschooler wearing a bucket on his head or learning to ski, and I laughed. This book – if it did nothing else – made me FEEL.

It did more though… One thing that came across very clearly in reading the book and hearing Klebold’s interviews was her intentions for it. She wanted this book to be a warning to parents about the dangers of mental illness. She, admittedly, missed signs and will live with the shame and guilt of that for the rest of her life. This book is an attempt to save other families from that same fate. In addition, she committed to giving ALL profits from the sale of the book to organizations committed to mental health.

I hate to “score” a book like this. It was well-written, captivating, and powerful. More importantly, It made me rethink how I view mental illness as something that doesn’t “happen” to “normal families.” I think I will be a better mom (and teacher) for reading this book. That’s big.

It isn’t for everyone. It is HARD to process. But, in my opinion, it is worth it.

I learned today that May is Children’s Mental Health Awareness month. In honor of that, and Mother’s Day this Sunday, read this book. Buy it for a friend. Talk about it with someone. (Email me if you want.)

And Sue, if you ever happen upon this, THANK YOU. You are brave, and if I ever had the opportunity, I’d give you a hug and tell you you are a GOOD MOM.

Love,

E

P.S. I apologize for the heavy topics lately, but this is something near and dear to my heart as I work with teenagers in a high school every day. It’ll be back to normal chit-chat tomorrow; but, if you do want more, check out the following older posts:

“I Feel Safe: Some Thoughts on School Violence”

“The Most Important Book I Teach”