Well, we are home from our wonderful vacation in Florida with Jeff’s family. We had a great time – Sam did awesome on the plane (his ears didn’t bother him at all), loved the beach even more this year than last, and I even came home feeling rested and refreshed thanks to helpful grandparents, aunts & uncles, etc. Today, we are resting at home – reuniting with toys and normalcy – and getting ready for my girlfriend and her little one to arrive for a few days later this afternoon.
Anyway, somewhere between giving my two year old a stick of gum on the way down, and him literally climbing under my seat right after the plane landed back at home to poop, I was struck by just how much I “eat my words” as a mom. Honestly, from the minute Sam was born (and probably even before that), I’ve been “breaking the rules” I set for myself as a mother…
Thankfully, motherhood has also made me MUCH less of a “rule follower.” I’m pretty comfortable with most of the decisions we’ve made, and even find it pretty funny how “perfect” a mom I was before I had a baby. Regardless, one thing is for sure: Motherhood is nothing if not humbling.
I’m going to get my baby on a schedule from the very beginning.
I won’t be one of those annoying people that refers to herself as “mommy” and her husband as “daddy.”
I’m not going to give my baby a pacifier, a bottle, or formula.
My child will NEVER sleep in my bed.
I will never kiss my child on the lips.
And, more recently…
I will teach my child to sit nicely at a restaurant/in the car/ visiting other peoples’ homes/ etc., and I won’t use an iPad, cellphone, or movie to entertain him.
I will never tolerate my child throwing fits in public, and – on the off chance that he does – I will certainly not lose my cool.
My child will never spend a whole day in pjs or play in the dog’s water bowl.
Yeah, “Pre-Baby Me” thinks “Post-Baby Me” is a total hot-mess disaster of a mother. And “Post-Baby Me” has many a good laugh thinking about how dumb and judgmental “Pre-Baby Me” was.
Motherhood is nothing if not humbling.
Tell me, were you the “perfect mom” – like me – before you had kids? What “rules” have you broken since becoming a mom?
(I wrote some more heartfelt – deeper – thoughts on this same topic here if you’re interested.)
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I was kind of a easy going mom into the whole motherhood thing. I had worked with youth for years. We didn’t do the birthing class either, besides me doing my own reading up online. I think with everything, it is a matter of find balance with it all. Just like Paul said, everything is permissible, but not always beneficial. I think I have eased up on how much TV the kids do get, but I am really trying to limit how much screen time they get so when in times when it isn’t available, they will know how to entertain themselves better.
While in Starbucks a few weeks ago, my daughter was being a terror over wanting the little milk cups they sell. I was about ready to lose it! I grabbed her out of line (that I had been standing in for a good 3 or 4 minutes already), ushered her over to a chair, plopped her down and informed her that EVERYWHERE we go has a timeout chair – even Starbucks! She sat there for 3 minutes while I stood with my arms crossed probably looking like an idiot, she said she was sorry and we walked back to stand in the line that was probably double as long now! I was irritated and before I had kids – I would give people the side eye for reprimanding their children in public…though come to think of it, I also gave the side eye for those who didn’t. I was a perfect mom back then! Once we stood back in line – a middle aged man walked up to me and said “I saw what you just did and I applaud you for that – – many parents don’t even bother and you were swift about it!” I actually thanked him for reaffirming to me that I’m doing something right. He made my day. Being a mom is easy but being a parent is hard stuff!
“I will never kiss my child on the lips.”
Stop-this is a thing??? I am completely unaware. I smooch my kids to death.
haha, i ALWAYS say i was a great mom before i had kids!
even though i STILL think tv is a bad habit, i thought parents were negligent if their kids watched tv. now my son watches tv every day. whomp whomp.
oh, and i could go on and on. i think it’s so weird that people (including me) are so judgmental before they have kids. i can’t think of any other scenario that people are opinionated about BEFORE doing. ya know?
What “rules” have I broken since becoming a mom? … too many to name..
– the ipad and phone thing is BAD in our house
– kids sleeping in our bed
– wearing PJs out of the house (daughters and mom)
– Fast food for dinner (there I said it, so sad to admit)
the list goes on…
But I have also LEARNED so much
– I am less judgmental about others and MYSELF
– I am kinder to others and MYSELF
– I have more patience
– more gratitude
Being a mom means breaking the rules and learning to have the
I keep Dum Dums in pretty much every bag, pocket and vehicle. “Wollipops” are my saving grace. And more often than not, Luke gets one in the middle of a tantrum when I simply CANNOT take another shrill scream. Luke-1, Mommy-0.
Love this post! We’re one month out from meeting our little man and I am SURE I will have plenty of eating-my-words moments! Never say never, right?! Glad you guys had a great vacation!
I wasn’t going to give formula ever. My body had different plans.
I was going to make all his baby food.
I wasn’t going to give a pacifier except at night.
I wasn’t going to turn on kid shows. Now Sesame Street is my saving grace while I get ready in the morning.
I was going to get him on a sleep schedule EARLY.
I was not going to rock him to sleep every night.
I really had it all together before I was a mom
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