Hello again. As I type this, it is Sunday morning – I’m drinking coffee and watching Sam & Jeff play. Maybe it’s because today ends my spring break, and I go back to work tomorrow, but I’m feeling kind-of reflective… Pardon me for a moment, will you?
Well, Spring Break 2014 is officially in the books… Despite some pretty awful allergies that kept me lazier and in the house more than I’d hoped, it was a very good break indeed. Now, back to the grind, but only for 24 days – woohoo!!
It will, for sure, be hard to get up tomorrow morning, and hard to leave Sam all week. For the last ten days, we have spent every waking minute together – and quite a few napping minutes together too 😉 – which was really good. I am embarrassed to admit this, but between work/babysitters/grandparents/etc. I can’t even remember the last time we spent a whole week together with no breaks. We had a really sweet time just playing with his toys, reading books, going to playgrounds, meeting friends for lunch, running errands, etc. I say this a lot, but he really is SO great right now. He’s my little buddy, and I wouldn’t trade the extra time with him this week for anything.
My boy 🙂
In other ways, of course, I am ready to go back to work. Time and time again, I have realized about myself that I really do function better with a routine and a schedule each day, and I’m not the best at making holding myself to one when I don’t have to… It is SO easy for me to sit down and look at the computer or something for “just a minute” and the next thing I know, it is noon and we’re still in our PJs, the day is half gone, and Sam has watched far too many cartoons.
If nothing else, this week was confirmation for me that – while breaks are SO good – we are BEST, when we are doing what is BEST FOR US. (Novel, right?) I have a GREAT JOB – one that allows me lots of breaks and good time with Sam, but also keeps me grounded, focused, and productive most of the time. I know not everyone is as fortunate as me in that field, so know that I don’t take it for granted…
I posted this on Instagram one night last week and got a fair amount of response to it – I don’t know HOW stay at home moms do it all the time!!! Being at home all day meant my house was always messy, and I was even more exhausted from chasing playing with Sam all day…
As I move towards summer break now (woohoo again!), I’m thinking about how I function best and starting to make some plans for our time. I would LOVE some advice/tips from those of you that stay at home full time. 🙂 I’d like to schedule some activities for us, but I don’t want to be overbooked either. Do you try to get out and do something structured every day? Do you leave one day for rest and play around the house? What is your daily schedule? When do you get your chores – cleaning/cooking/laundry/etc. – done? How much do you actually play with your kids, and how much is “independent play” for them?
Can’t wait to hear what you have to say!
E
I’m really anxious to read what others have to say. I am still trying to figure out this SAHM business. I was/am constantly struggling with feeling productive. I’m home all day, shouldn’t the house be spotless and numerous projects completed?! I can barely feed myself and get mascara on! I realized I needed to be more realistic about my expectations for myself and let go of what I thought others expectations were.
Enter, the three item to-do list! Each morning I write down (that’s an important step) three things I want to accomplish that day. I don’t usually include small day-to-day tidying up items. I make them realistic and measurable. Today for instance– 1. Make one batch of baby food 2. Mail wedding gift 3. iron 2 shirts (for husband, obviously my t-shirts and yoga pants don’t need ironing!) If more gets done, GREAT! If not, I’m okay with that.
I LOVE this idea of the three-item To Do list. I think my problem comes when I expect to do a million things, then get overwhelmed and get nothing accomplished. Thank you!!
Happy first Monday back.. are you like me and just ask the kids what they did on their fabulous spring breaks and then proceed to get jealous about all their amazing vacas…. I digress
I definitely need a routine to help me be my best as a mom & wife.
I am thinking our summer routine with the two girls is going to be:
– Wake up before girls (I know this sounds crazy, but I LOVE my me time in the morning to make coffee, mediate (ie blog read), pray, just a couple of quiet moments. I often feel very frazzled when the girls are my alarm clock
– Family breakfast
– clean up and independent play
– 9 -11 am an ACTIVITY – usually a Stroller strides class, a park trip, an arts and crafts activity at home, trip to Target…
-11:30 home and lunch prep
– 12:00 LUNCH
– 12:30ish NAPS
– 3:30 – 4:00 (I know I am really LUCKY to have solid afternoon nappers) quiet play, sometimes a trip to the pool or a walk
– 5:30ish DINNER (yes, we eat really early)
– 7:00 – 7:30 BEDTIME
– After the girls are asleep my husband and I try to watch some Netflix together and connect. I usually fall asleep…
Oh this is SO helpful for me! I’m going to modify that schedule just a little bit (Sam is trying to give up his nap, but I’m holding on for dear life) and do something very similar this summer. Love it! Thank you!
As a former teacher and now SAHM for 2 years, I understand your thoughts! It has taken a while for me to settle into the routine of my role. I think weekly/daily structure looks different for everyone. We have “fun” plans everyday (both my daughter and I would go crazy if we didn’t) and I am “productive” everyday (in terms of chores, errands, etc.) And I try to have one more relaxed day in the week.
BUT one of my biggest learning curves since staying home has been the realization that I need help. I think I thought “I’ve been a teacher in charge of many children… Now I have only one that I’m in charge of… How hard can it be… I won’t need breaks/help”. But I was wrong. 24/7 with someone is totally different from working! With no close family in the area, I don’t have a bunch of ready-made babysitters. But just because I’m not working at school all day, doesn’t mean I don’t need breaks from my dear sweet girl! I don’t need much… maybe a morning or two to myself each week. I’m a better mom when I have that time that I can count on to be alone, run without pushing a jogger, meet a friend for uninterrupted conversation, volunteer, shop without whining, etc.
When I came to this realization, my husband was supportive about adding more babysitting money in our budget. I’ve gotten creative to keep it affordable by trading kids with other moms and sharing a sitter with a neighbor (the best set-up!). However it works, my advice to SAHMs is to give yourself a bit of childcare even if you don’t need it for your job!
You are SO right about needing help! Sometimes when I am off, I feel guilty about having some one else watch Sam – especially since I work most of the time. But, I am a better mom when I’m not so stressed about all the things I “should” be doing… This summer, I’m planning to send Sam to a Mother’s Morning Out one day a week at our church so I can get some housework done, and will definitely take the grandma’s up on their offers for babysitting. Really, those things are good for Sam too!
It is no fun in the moment, but I’ve found that if I get my husband to help clean the house one night over the weekend, it starts our week off on a much better note. I’m not spending my days worrying about getting the cleaning done around my toddler (impossible!) and just use a little bit of time during nap time to pick up if I want to, with plenty of time left to still do something for me. Just as you have good days and bad days at work, there are good and bad days as a SAHM. Getting out of the house for library time, walks, the park and play dates with friends definitely help to make for a good day, but sometimes kids or mom are just moody and that’s ok. Those days might mean a nap for everyone or extra iPad/movie time. Hopefully the good will outweigh the bad, but don’t feel guilty on the days you have to do whatever it takes to get by…. we’ve all been there!
Yes! I 100% agree that taking the time on the weekends to get organized sets us up for a MUCh better week. Thanks for the pep talk – you’re absolutely right… Sometimes, we are “super” mom, and other times we are “survivor” mom. 🙂
I work from home (about 12ish hours a week) and stay at home, so I’m like a weird hybrid that doesn’t fit in with the working moms or stay at home moms. I have a 17 month old and I’m 12 weeks pregnant with our second But since I manage both, and while at home, here are my tips:
1. Prioritize what HAS to happen that day and start knocking things off your list when you’re able to. Once you get done what abolutely has to get done, then you can move onto things you’d like to accomplish if you have time
2. Independent play is awesome. I’m not sure how much is “good”, but DD is pretty good about playing alone for at least an hour in the mornings and at least an hour in the afternoons. I let her do her thing since she’s happy and content. Our house is open concept so I can see her if we are both in the living room, dining room, or kitchen.
3. I tend to plan my social activities out for the week on weekends. We usually do things with my moms group 2-3 times a week. I try to plan that stuff out in advance so I can plan work, errands, and a little lazy time around that.
4. I do have part-time grandma care for about 10ish hours a week. Sometimes I work, sometimes I run errands, sometimes I go to yoga. Even if I didn’t work, I agree that having a little outsourced childcare helps a LOT for mama’s sanity 🙂
5. Try not to overcommit yourself to anything—social, work, crafts, etc. Everyone will be less stressed.
6. Weekends are definitely a great time to catch up on things that have to get done!
We basically are out in the mornings and home in the afternoons. I try to be out of the house by 9 (not always but usually) – eve if it’s just going to the Y or the grocery store. We come home for lunch (unless a play date generously offers to feed us too) and naps, and then afternoons are spent at home – playing inside or outside or whatever. I get a few things done during nap time or while the kids play with each other in the afternoon, and I keep my expectations low. J and I also have an after-bedtime quick clean up routine… Before we sit down to watch tv or get on fb or whatever, we ALWAYS neaten up the downstairs, so we go to bed with it clean and wake up with it clean.
We have a schedule that helps a lot. And it isn’t really a “set” schedule–but more like, we have these milestones/landmarkers and then work everything else around that. For instance, preschool tues/thurs, gym classes that I try to make (so I hold to them like they’re rigid), I never overbook my early mornings–ie: if we go to the gym, I usually don’t go till the 10am hour, so we have lazy time in the morning. Time to get breakfast, watch a little tv, sip my coffee, blog if I want, check emails, check into work for the day, etc. Preschool doesn’t start till 9:30 so it gives me time, too. We also use our weekends to set us up for the week. My husband is a huuuuge help and he does NOT believe all the household stuff falls on me just because i’m home. He does laundry on sundays, and also cooks a ton of food for him (and us) for the week. So most of our breakfasts are made already, chicken grilled for the week, etc. We grocery shop so we already know what we’re having during the week, which is helpful. Anyway. We don’t have a strict schedule but there are things we try to stick to, and it helps a lot to keep those landmarkers in place. And exercise. That helps a TON in the energy department/to help make sure a nap isn’t always in order (naps are fine), but I find that if I nap I feel like I wasted time I could have done so much else alone, hah. Ok. I rambled. 😉
As many people have said a plan/schedule for the day really helps. My husband works long hours and is not usually home for dinner/bedtime so for me it really helps to be out (play date, errand, etc.) between 3:30-5:30 because the kids are so fussy during the “witching hour.” I usually make dinner during naps/quiet time. The kids usually play together for about an hour in the morning while the baby is napping so I can get some chores done then. I always clean up after every meal and the laundry is never ending. Then I pick a room/other chore to do in a day (which doesn’t always happen if I have a lot planned that day). Working out is something I am still trying to fit in along with some continuing Ed for when I go back to work. So not a perfect schedule. The kids are in bed by 7:00 and other than cleaning up from dinner and occasionally folding a load of laundry I try to relax, which I feel good about if I have had a productive day. Kind of wrote a novel (and haven’t re-read it) so I hope that was helpful.
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