Eight years ago today – on top of a mountain at Deer Valley Resort in snowy Utah – the boy I’d loved since I was fifteen got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. (Spoiler Alert: I said YES.)
The photo above was taken later that night in Salt Lake City Temple Square, and it’s become one of my very favorite ornaments to hang on the tree each year. It’s the perfect reminder of that Christmas – which held so much expectation and joy – and our excitement, love for each other, and hope for whatever the future had for us together. We’ve had a lot of wonderful Christmases since then, but that one definitely stands out in my mind as one of the very best. (The date on the ornament is our wedding date, FYI. Confusing, I know.)
Anyway… We got engaged on December 18th, 2006 (just a couple of days after Jeff graduated from VT) and were married on June 30th, 2007 – for those of you that aren’t stellar at math (don’t worry, I get it), that’s an engagement of just over six months – and I don’t even count it as that long because we didn’t start planning until after Christmas (i.e. December 26th because that’s all my little Type A wedding planning heart could handle)… In six months, while also student teaching, my mom and I planned (and executed) my dream wedding.
I’m being 100% honest when I say that I have nothing but WONDERFUL memories from the entire planning experience (and, I really think my mom would say the same – for what it’s worth). Even in this era of Pinterest and blogs, when every wedding seems even more beautiful/creative/amazing than the next, Jeff and I often talk about how FUN and PERFECT our wedding was. It was, hands down, the best day of my life. Everyone I loved was there, every detail was perfect, and the entire process – starting on December 18th and leading right up to the big day – was a HUGE celebration. I almost get teary just thinking about how loved and blessed I felt during that season of my life. (#pregnancyhormones)
According to the most recent statistics I could find (The Knot, 2013), the average length of an engagement in the US is 14 months. Another study, done by Wedding Paper Divas about two years ago, said that only 4% of engagements are six months or less. If these statistics are true, then, frankly, I think people are doing it all wrong… While I have nothing against a longer engagement (my sister’s will be right at the average when it is all said and done and everything about her’s is turning out great too), and I realize that there are plenty of reasons why a couple chooses to go that route; I would argue that SHORTER IS BETTER if you have the choice!
Here are my top five reasons why:
#5. You can (and should) start planning right away. I bought my wedding dress approximately ten days after I got engaged, and it wasn’t too early!! Since my engagement was short, I didn’t waste any time starting to make decisions and plan – something I had been dreaming about doing for years. I’m an instant gratification type, so I loved that I could jump right in. I remember getting my first bridal magazine (in the airport coming home from Utah), looking at one of those Wedding Countdown Checklists, and being so happy that I could breeze right through the first several pages… My mom and I had a lot of fun looking for inspiration, meeting with vendors, shopping for little details, etc. etc., and I never felt bored with the process or like we had a long time to wait – I just enjoyed the planning right up until the moment we said “I do.”
#4. You will have more limited options on vendors, dates, etc. which actually makes the process EASIER and less stressful. One of the hardest things about planning a wedding can be picking a date; but, with a short engagement, our options were already limited so we had to go with the first thing that worked. (We lucked out because the very next Saturday was 7/7/07 and apparently a lot of people wanted to get married on that date so our day was still available for lots of people.) We couldn’t be picky about whether Great Aunt Bobby Sue would be on vacation at the time, and if our “first choice” vendor wasn’t available, we simply moved on to the next. I guess for some people this might be seen as a disadvantage; but – for me – having less options was a really GOOD thing.
#3. If the process is stressful, it will only last a short time. Let’s face it, there are some aspects of wedding planning that just ARE stressful. But, in my experience with close friends getting married etc. the stress is basically the same regardless of the length of your engagement. So, even if our whole experience had been difficult and tension-filled (which it wasn’t), at least it would have only been for six months instead of a year or longer.
#2. You (and everyone else) get excited AND stay excited for the entire engagement/wedding season. This was one of the best parts for me… As I mentioned above, I felt like our entire engagement period was one big celebration leading up to the BIG celebration at the end. Our friends were so excited to get our Save-the-Date in January (even booking hotel rooms and flights right away), threw us a ridiculous amount of showers and parties throughout the Spring, and counted down the days with us until the actual wedding. I’ve heard a lot of people complain that they are “over it” by the time they get to the actual wedding or that there seems to be a lull in the excitement once all the planning is done, but that wasn’t the case for us at all! The six months flew by and I was walking down the aisle before I knew it!!
And the #1 reason you should have a short engagement: If it only takes nine months to GROW a human being in your stomach and prepare for the life-changing moment of motherhood, I’m pretty sure you can plan a wedding in less time than that. This is mostly tongue-in-cheek; but, really, I mean… Think about it. 😉
Interestingly, according to both of the surveys mentioned above, December is also the most popular month to get engaged (must be something about all those twinkly lights and mistletoe)… So, if you just got engaged or might be getting engaged this season, I hope you’ll consider my argument in favor of the short engagement. (And CONGRATULATIONS!)
Anyone else out there plan a wedding in six months or less? How did it go for you?
E
We had a 12 month engagement because we were waiting for Sean to graduate from dental school (and finish his board exams!). I do agree that a shorter engagement if possible would be better though. Jen
We got engaged in December too! On the 14th to be exact & we got married……March 8!!!! That’s less then 3 months for those keep score at home. We wanted to get married before my fiance started seminary in a different state in the beginning of June. So my spring break worked (I taught school). Our wedding was my absolute favorite & we actually had no problem booking things because no one gets married in March! That was almost 7 years ago, 3 kids, & 2 countries ago!
I think you have your engagement dates wrong – I know you got married before 2011, I was reading your blog then! 🙂
Haha! You are so right. Sam was born in 2011, but we got married in 2007. Oops! Going to fix that now. Thank you!!
I LOVED having a short engagement!
We also had a “destination” wedding to Duck, OBX! It made the whole planning process so much easier and less stressful.
Now that I am a mom of two girls, I am totally going to emphasize the awesomeness of a short and sweet engagement,
We had a 5.5 month engagement and it was perfect! I almost would have had it shorter, but my sister got married a month before us 🙂 We got married 18 months after we met – everyone kept saying it was so fast, but we knew we were going to be together and didn’t want to wait any longer (for many reasons! 😉
Well, wedding twin, it shouldn’t surprise you that we were also a December engagement (the 11th)! And we also lucked out on the 6/30 availability due to 7/7 popularity! And I agree with all of your reasoning. And I can’t decide if I’m thankful or sad that Pinterest wasn’t invented back then. Probably thankful!!!
I agree! We had a 5 month engagement and it was perfect. No time to stress out over the details and then go back months later to change them again. I liked working on a tight time frame with limited options instead of having every vendor under the sun to comb through. I also made the same statement about being able to prepare for a baby in 9 months. Love it!
We had an 8 week engagement (thanks US Army!) I was in CO, my fiance was in CA and we got married in VA. You can do it in whatever amount of time you have. Wedding planning is like water – it seeps into whatever space you give it.
Happy anniversary!
My daughter got engaged on August 27, 2014. The wedding was November 8, 2014. We had two months and one week to plan the wedding. We pulled it off wonderfully.
We had so many positive comments about what a sweet and precious wedding it was. Stephanie had always wanted a fall wedding with sunflowers. She had it. So simple and beautiful. The day was gorgeous, which in the Texas panhandle, you never know, especially in November. Joe and Stephanie were married in our church’s Orginial Building, which is 125 years old and on the national historical registry. I walked her down the ilse, because her father (my husband) had passed away in June 2014 from Early Onset Alzhemier’s. Thank you for letting me share.
Jo Elyn Landers
Funny, I got engaged in December eight years ago too! And I was married that August. I am with you 100% about short engagements. You made some great points!
I’m all for short engagements.
My mom’s 2nd wedding, they saw each other 17 times in 3 months. They were married for 29 years, until and dI’d from cancer.
I met my husband in May of 2000, engaged July 3rd, 2000 and married August 5, 2000. We saw each other 6 times, with the 6th being the day before we got married.
My daughter just got engaged Friday and they are looking at November 5th….
I couldn’t imagine stretching it out for 6 months or more. Oh the stress!